I have sat here for over two weeks looking at this computer screen. Reading this post over and over. Praying that when I post it that it will get a epic response. That will not taking lightly and then forgot about.Okay well .. Let's move on. I don't have time to waste on all the explaining .
This is a quick blurb about Tom. Tom is my step dad.. Well not really but anyways he has been living with my mom for a super long time. I mean years and years and years.
Tom has done his share of drinking, using, selling, and making drugs. He owned a few strip clubs and bike shops over his 70 years.
He is not that person at all anymore. In fact I don't remember him ever being that person. Well... I have been around for the bike shops and a few years of trying to drink physical pain away.
Those choices have caught up with him and his heart no longer is functioning as it should. There is nothing the doctor can do at this point. No surgery, no stints, no medications, nothing will fix the damage done.
We called hospice almost three weeks ago.. This is extremely difficult for mom, me, sister, the kids and our family.
Death should be sad but beautiful. Who wouldn't want to walk on streets of gold and never feel a day of sadness or hurt again But, for Tom he isn't interested.
For years I have talked to him about Jesus and tried my best to live a life that glorifies Jesus. He still finds not interest in knowing the peace that is found in Jesus.
I really think that Tom is mad at Jesus and himself and doesn't feel worthy of the forgiveness and joy Jesus brings.
Here is way I think Tom is mad at God and doesn't feel worthy of God's grace. Don't hold me to all the details of this story seeing how it is never really talked about but, I will sum the facts up for you.
When Tom was a kid around the age of 12 he and a friend were playing. Tom's twin sister was doing what every other sibling does. She wanted to hang with her brother and his friend. To make a long story short Tom and his friend took off on their bikes and began run away from her. She did what my kids do on a daily basis and followed them.
Tom and his friend crossed a busy street and as she followed them a tragic event took place.
As she crossed the street in a hurry she was hit by a 18 wheeler. Tom saw the whole thing and from what I have been told he was blamed by his parents for her death. He has blamed God and himself for what happened.
He has asked the question .. why would "God" if he is who people say he is take the life of a child or allow someone to hurt a child?.
Why would "God" forgive a man like myself who has spent his life doing horrible things?. Bottom line he is just not interested. He is angry! I guess I understand where he is coming from but, I have experienced God's loving grace and forgiveness. I can't wrap my mind around why Tom wouldn't want peace, joy and forgiveness.
So.. as I close this post I am asking that you pray for his salvation. That you ask God to give the the family the words to say. That we would live a life will lead him to the feet of Jesus.
Lastly, Please share this post!! Let's get the prayer warriors praying!
Thank you for reading, sharing and praying for Tom and the family!
Love,
A Desperate Daughter
